Farmworld
by PatterCake
Summary: Lana Seraphine Percivile (LSP) has now been living in the small town her parents insisted on moving into for a month. She hates everything but most of all she hates her annoying, neighbour. Or she claims she hates him. After a storm leads to his house being broken he stays with her. Lumpygrab au where lg and lsp exist in Ice Finn's world. Sequel to a comic I made. See my bio.


It had been roughly a week since Earl, also known as rat man and the occasional almost affectionate 'bastard', had started camping out in her living room.

She rarely saw him as he got up very early to head down to his orchard, and always came back very late. The only daily interactions they had for a while were that it was her job to wrap his dinner in tinfoil and leave it out for him, and that every morning he would leave a note saying thank you for last night's meal, signed, Earl. B next to his washed dishes. For some reason he wrote his Os as lemons, which was a dedication to his aesthetic she could only admire.

They'd only had dinner together once, that had been the second night he stayed over. They'd had curry and she was certain he hated it but was too nervous in front of her parents to say anything. His face turned this hilarious red colour after he had his first spoonful and he reached for his water so fast he spilt it everywhere and looked like he wanted to die the whole time. She wished she could've taken a picture.

After that he kept staying late and she had the sneaking suspicion he was terrified he'd be forced into eating curry again.

But she didn't really have time to be wondering about him and what he was doing anyway. She had her own problems. She hadn't told her parents, but she having trouble sleeping. She was fine all day- Or fine enough. Sure she got lost and felt confused a lot of the time but nothing to worry about, and she'd started talking to Teresa who worked down at the library and permanently wore a green backpack for some reason, though she wasn't sure if she'd call her a friend.

Her friend...

She'd heard about Mellissa. It was weird to think that a week ago she'd been calling her every night, complaining about the neighbour, the house where something was always breaking, the mud everywhere, the ugly little boy that everyone was weirdly afraid of... she should've noticed that something was different, that her end was getting quieter and quieter. That she didn't call her first anymore, that she would say 'I need to go now' an hour earlier every day, or that one day she just didn't pick up at all.

Yes moving away from your house and your friends and even from you ex is upsetting, and it's jarring and weird to be in a new place, with all these new and strange people. But she though she'd at least have one link left. Mellissa was still her friend, wasn't she?

It took another phone call, from a girl in her class called Tiffany or some stupid boring name like that, she never really paid attention to her. She hung around Mellissa a lot. She was one of those gossipy girls, always starting drama, and yeah it was fun with her sometimes but...

She'd told her that Brad and Mellissa were seeing each other. I just felt like you deserved to know because she's your friend and you're his

She'd slammed the phone down. She hadn't really felt anything other than annoyance and anger at the time, but when she was trying to sleep and there was nothing to distract her...

There was one thing. She'd started exploring her room by night, looking for anything interesting left behind by the previous residents. She'd started doing it after she found someone had scratched something into the bedframe:

Wo sich Fuchs und Hase Gute Nacht sagen...

She'd checked the rest of the bed but there was nothing else there. Then she'd moved on to check all the drawers in the table.

She assumed everything had been cleared out of them but it looked like it hadn't, and they'd just been empty already. She found a rotting half eaten apple that someone had stashed away and forgotten about, some papers and then she found the photograph.

It was of two boys... seemingly in their late teens, standing together in front of what she excitedly recognised as the two hills her and rat man's houses were built on. The one on the left had black hair and was smiling, while the other one had shaggy blonde hair and was looking away, kinda anxious about something. He was pretty cute, she had to admit.

She started wondering who they were, and what they were like and why they left. And where were they now? It took her mind of what had happened with Brad anyway... she lay awake at night sometimes, wondering about what he was doing.

Ugh... anyway... she didn't care. They could do whatever they wanted... she didn't care at all...

"That's right," she muttered as she came inside and took off her coat, just returned from a walk, "I don't care at ALL." She stomped up the stairs and then came back down after she saw Bastard sitting in the front room in a chair, reading through something.

She looked at him for a while (much to his discomfort) and then said;

"You look a bit different."

He took off his stupid nerdy reading glasses and set them down next to his glass of milk. "What do you mean?"

"You shaved your hair."

He stroked the back of his head. "And what is it to you it's a free country I can dooo what I want."

"Go ahead. I was just wondering why. I mean... I personally thought it looked better longer."

He ducked his head and pretended to scratch at his forehead to cover his face. "Y-you thought that did you hmm? Well... well..."

"Yeah I know you just do whatever you want and it's none of my business. Anyway you chase that kid around all the time so I guess you're probably trying to make yourself look as scary as possible so I mean... good job on that."

"That is not what I was going to say..." he muttered.

"Well what were you going to say," she folded her arms, "I can't read minds spit it out."

"If you had onlyyyy said that earlier... I would not have cut it..." he muttered quietly.

"Don't cut it this time then, dummy. Anyway, if you're gonna be growing it out then I might as well make the most of this baldness oppurtunity."

He cocked his head. "What do you mean?"

Lana got out her purse. "How much do I need to pay for a chance to slap it?"

"For a chance to... slap what?" He frowned.

"Your big head."

"...Hmm?"

"I've always wanted to slap a bald persons head... do you never get that? Like you see some old dude and you just go Oh I wanna hit that..."

He gave her a worried look.

"I can not say I have..."

"Anyway how much for it. How much for 1 slap?"

"I'm not selling... slappingsss..." he hissed, "You can purchase some lemons if you want but please no-"

"I'l give you 20 dollars."

"2o dollars! W-well... I suppose a little slap... is allowed. But do not be overzealous..."

Lana had already rolled up her sleeves expectantly. "Lean forwards."

Lana whacked his head and spent the next few days begging him to take her money so she could do it again. Apparently the noise it made was immensely satisfying. Then she started asking if she could stroke his head when his hair started to grow back. She said it was prickly and felt nice, like a hedgehog. He liked that.

What he wasn't such a fan of was the fact that she'd started calling him Baldy.

He found out when the roof broke out of nowhere and he offered to go up and fix it. Her father had been very grateful to him and had shaken his hand tightly. He hadn't been sure how to deal with it.

He'd been hammering down a metal sheet when he saw Lana standing at the bottom of the ladder he'd lent against the wall, and staring up at him with her mother. He really wished she wouldn't look at him. It made him feel weird, so he bent down lower and muttered angrily to himself.

"Yo wouldn't it be funny if Baldy fell?" she said suddenly.

Her mother gasped and snapped at her. "Lana Seraphine Perciville! I can't believe you that wouldn't be funny at all - he could hurt himself!"

All she said in response to that was "Lol."

Needless to say he was rather offended by this, and seriously considered jumping off the roof directly onto her to see if she still found it funny. Instead he decided to give up on fixing the roof for a while and lie in wait for her to try and go through the front door, holding a bucket of ice cold water he'd taken from the rainwater harvester on the roof.

He had to wait for a while. Her parents left to go to work and she kept looking around in garden but then she walked right into his trap, and he gleefully tipped the contents all over her.

"OH MY GOB! WHAT THE HELL WHY WHO DID THIS!" She looked up and saw his tiny smug bald head poking over the roof, "YOU! Oh you're gonna pay for this... you asshole... you frog in a barrel... Traitorous and stupid oaf..." She pushed his ladder away from the wall so he couldn't get down.

"My parents don't come home till 9... enjoy your DEATHTRAP!" They didn't talk to each other for a while after that one.

She still saw him almost every day though. She could see him from her bedroom window in the attic, from which she could slightly see over the tall fence that surrounded his house, if she looked at an angle, and into his orchard. He was always working. Felling trees broken in the storm, weeding, dumping compost around the roots and carefully spreading it evenly like a blanket with his bare hands.

But she also saw him talking to her parents in their garden sometimes, or heard them greeting each other in the hall, they even visited his house once for some reason. It made her kind of mad, having to share them.

She knew that her parents loved her but she also knew they wished she was more responsible, more reliable, better at holding a steady job - an actual job, not whatever she had going on at the theatre. It didn't matter to them that it was her childhood dream to be a writer. They'd already been independent at her age, she was just getting started.

He was the same age as her, she'd found out recently, yet he had his own house, lived alone, made his own money and seemed to be pretty good at what he did. They'd never say it and she wasn't sure if they even realised it themselves, but on some level they wished she was more like him. And that was why it made her angry to see them playing chess and washing dishes and getting on well together.

It also meant she had to avoid three people rather than one.

But avoiding them was pretty easy, she applied to work in a local shop in one of the stockrooms and got the job, after that she saw Earl even less, but he was probably still doing his thing. Felling his trees and all that. She didn't care anyway.

Their next major interaction was when she came home one day, expecting dinner to be ready and instead found the dining room table empty of food, but not of people.

Her parents were sitting together, chatting, when she came in and demanded to be fed.

"Earl said he'd make dinner tonight Lana honey."

"I diiiiiiiiiiiiid!" came his voice from the kitchen. Yeesh. What a hassle.

She sat down moodily and put her head in her hands.

"Yeah we were really surprised we were all like," she tuned out the sound of her mother's voice, "Oh That would be lovely of you Earl but-"

But you don't have to trouble yourself. We're just doing our duty as your neighbours - you'd do the same and expect nothing in return too I'm sure.

Earl had just laughed awkwardly and touched the back of his neck. If it had been him he never would've let strangers into his house. Starve in the streets, peasants, but he couldn't say that.

"Nnnnggh it is fiine... no trouble... no trouble at all."

After that they'd agreed and left him to it. He was pretty worried about what he'd made as it had been a long time since he'd made anything like it but... he could hope.

"Hope..." he repeated to himself, and brought the first course through.

"What the hell is this... Slop..." asked Lana, poking the disgusting looking meal Earl had cooked for them.

"That is mashed potato." He explained.

Her father politely had some and nearly spat it out. "It's sour!"

"It's supposed to be. I put lemons in it. My own recipe."

"Do you... Have any like... Sauce or..." her mother asked.

"No." said Earl, squeezing lemon juice all over his potatoes, "I did try to make it less sour as I am...mmm painfully aware you do not like the taste of lemons, sad really."

There was a ding from the kitchen and he got up. "Excuse meee..."

Lana leaned over to her mother, who was similarly dying inside. "Why did you let him cook? Why? This is what I imagine the concept of Mormonism to taste like."

"Don't be rude!" Whispered her mother, as he came in, holding a cake.

It was the most beautiful cake she had ever seen in her life. It was dome shaped and carefully covered in layers of jam with intricate pastry vines shaping around it in the shape of fruit laden tree branches, with a crown of strawberries at the top

Everyone sat and basked in it's beauty for a few moments.

"Where did you get this from?" Lana breathed.

"I made it." He said awkwardly and sat down, avoiding eye contact, staring down at his hands.

"You MADE this... How?" Lana struggled to process, "What?"

He shrugged. "My family... Makes sweets for a living and I used too... help them... I know how to make these sort of things - A-Are you not going to have any?" he added, trying to move things on as quickly as possible.

"I feel like it would be some sort of sacrilege to eat something like this..." whispered her father as Earl started expertly slicing it.

"Your family makes sweets?" Lana asked in surprise, "I thought you were more of a you know lemon type of guy."

"Yes indeed. My mother runs a sweet factory and my great aunt is a confectioner - it's something of aaaa...faamily business."

She had a spoonful. It was so delicious she nearly started crying. She almost loved him, let alone liked him, in that moment.

"This is the first time I've heard you say anything about your family." Her father said.

He shrugged. "I'm not very talkative."

She really never would've thought he came from a line of candy makers... I mean, he ate raw lemons like they were apples, not exactly candy factory runner material. It was pretty clear that he wasn't going to be taking over the family business anytime soon.

On the subject of his family business, her father asked the name of the candy firm his family were.

"Oh uh... Gumbald... that is the factory name though the brand name was changed to candy kingdom after my mother took over..."

Lana nearly spat out her mouthful of cake.

"Your family OWNS that place? All that candy? You family makes that? And you used to help out?"

"O-oh I... See you have heard of... Mother's work..." He drummed his fingers on the table anxiously.

"It'd be hard not to. Man that's wild... I used to buy their chocolate all the time."

"If you like their chocolate then does... that mean you like their sweets too?" He asked.

"Oh yeah definitely, I used to buy their stuff all the time as a kid."

"Did you like the lemon sweets?" He asked hopefully, "By any chance? I-I'm merely... Asking."

"I've never had those."

He felt crushed. He'd made those ones.

"Are they good? I'll get some next time I'm over there then."

"Oh if... If that's what you want to do then..." He was really embarrassed for some reason and excused himself to go to bed early. Really what he did was lie on the sofa he slept on and think about what had just happened, and why it'd been so weird.

Then they didn't see each other for a few days again. She'd watch him working sometimes, and it was kinda relaxing watching him care for his trees; watering them and slicing off broken branches with shears and spreading a kinda syrupy thing on the cuts.

But she could never understand how someone could live like that. You get up at 5, do the same thing every day, can't take a day off, and if your trees say 'actually... fuck you' and don't grow any fruit you're done for.

Especially when you could be making super popular candy that everyone loves, what's the point of growing lemons? No-one wants them or needs them... And it looked like hard work.

Sometimes he took breaks where he had a glass of water and sat in a chair in the shade of his trees, just looking at them. She often wondered what he was thinking about when he did that. He didn't seem to have any friends either, she wondered if he was lonely. Probably not. He didn't seem to like being around other people much.

He did sometimes come back up to her house to eat something around noon though. That must mean that his kitchen had been broken too, or something. She could hear him taking off his boots before coming in, and then everything was silent.

On one of these days, when she was trying and failing to work on her play, the radiator on the left wall broke. It started issuing clouds of steam and she screamed, muttered 'hell no I'm not blowing up today' and ran downstairs to let Baldy know they were all going to burn to death.

He looked up from the paperwork he was going over and raised his eyebrows over his nerd glasses.

"I don't want you to panic-" She told him.

Earl immediately felt panicked "What is it?"

"-But I think there's going to be a house fire."

"A-what I'm sorry what? Did yooouuu... place an egg in the microwave again?"

"No I - how do you even know about that? I never told you-"

"No time!" He screeched, "What is theee issue?"

"Well... there's a... there's like a... the pipes in my room started smoking so..."

"Oh.. is is that all? Iiii should be able toooo fix that, they do that as a sign that you need to change something, quite clever really you know other machines they..." he looked away and wrung his hands, unable to to make himself say explode.

"Oh you can fix it?" She asked hopefully.

"Yes indeed I can."

"Well okay then you wanna like... come fix it then?"

He retrieved a bag of tools and followed her up the stairs and across the corridor. "First time I let a guy into my room after Brad... aaaand it's this fruitcake..." she thought to herself.

He froze before going into her room and stared at the door.

"You got a problem?" She asked, "Do I need to invite you in, do you follow vampire rules? You can come in it's not a problem like... I think I left my notebook on the table so don't read that-"

"It's not that..." he muttered, still staring at it, wide eyed.

"What's the matter then?"

He didn't say anything and then shuddered, like something cold had just passed through him.

"Nothing. I'm fine." He whispered.

He pushed the door open and hesitantly stepped in.

The radiator was still giving off clouds of steam, he knelt down by it and started turning the knobs on it's side.

He shuddered again and muttered something. He looked pretty distraught, she kinda felt like she should do something for him.

"Can I like...help you or something?" She asked awkwardly.

"Yes... please hand me a wrench."

She handed it to him and watched him fiddle with it. She thought about the cake he'd made and his reaction just then, he seemed to be a pretty interesting guy, actually. She realised she didn't know a lot about him.

"So like...how are you doing?" She asked, trying to start a conversation.

"I'm not telling you my secrets." He replied.

How was she supposed to work with that? "You can just say you have a boring life and nothing interesting happens to you... gob you're so cryptic and weird about everything."

"It's none of your business." He clicked something and quietly went aha! which was honestly kind of adorable.

"Okay well uhh..."she decided to try again, "I mean... how long are you going to be fixing that."

"About a few hours. Give... ooorr...take."

"Damn. I'm not gonna be able to use my room for hours." That was a bummer.

"I am not stopping you from using it, so long as you stay out of my way you can do as you please."

"Yeah but I can't focus around other people..." She crouched down and rested her chin on her knees.

"Well learn how to." He answered bluntly, and then instantly regretted it, he hadn't meant to be rude.. he wanted her to like him...

"It's not that easy. It's hard enough writing this play anyway..."

He had been lying about it taking a few hours. He had already fixed it and was now clacking the wrench on anything he could to make it look like he was working when really he was trying to think of something to say, and he massively appreciated the sudden appearance of this topic.

"I did not know you were writing a play. That's very impressive. I have a... lot of respect for people who can write." Was that good?

"That's very nice of you. I didn't know you were interested in that sort of thing. What sort of things do you read?"

Oh dear oh dear the only book he'd read in the past year was a book on 16th century farming but he doubted that would be even remotely interesting to her. "Oh you know... umm non-fiction mainly... Books on farming and... plants, or history. Not things you would be familiar with, I imagine."

"So in other words you just don't read fiction."

"I suppose you could say that. I just... It is not true to life, it is not interesting, a lot of the books I've tried to read have morals they want to teach in a patronising way. It has all been done before. I just do not like novels I guess."

"I bet I could find a novel you'd like."

He shrugged. "Feel free to try."

He noticed something through the bars of the radiator. He reached behind it and pulled out a sock with a kitten on it and tried not to laugh just in case he offended her. It had pawsome written on it, and when he saw that he snorted.

"You okay?"

"Yes yes I'm... I'm alright just.. just..." he showed her the sock.

"Oh you found my pawsome sock... neat...I'll take that..."

He tried to contain himself as he handed it to her.

He clacked at the radiator happily and thought of something else "What is your play about?"

"Oh it's very early in development but it's about a young lady who moves to a new town, but the people there are all so strange and she wants to go home and I have a lot of concepts and such for what might happen... I know it's going to be called The Storm no matter what though."

"Why the storm?" he asked curiously.

"Oh it's kind of a, like, a secret till it's finished."

"I see... Sounds interestiiiing... have you written many plays...?

"Well... I wrote one last year called Summer Showers but it wasn't very good... it sucked, actually, people liked it for some reason though so the theatre that staged it commissioned me to write something else... so I'm pretty tense about it."

"I see." That was a huge pressure to be under.

He thought about that... a young lady moves to a new town... and all the people there are strange...

"Might I have permission to ask an impertinent and personal question?"

"Go ahead," she sat down to be more comfortable, "I mean there's no laws stopping you but I might not answer: gotta keep my mystique up."

"How are you finding living here? It must be quite an... extreme change for you?"

"Yeah kinda but I can tough it out." She waved her hand around languidly, "I'll be fine."

"I'm sure you can but... but even so..."

"So what?"

"Well..." He wanted to say I am here if you need me "Nevermind... I forgot what I was going to say."

"Okay my turn to ask a question."

He watched as she got up and retrieved the photograph she'd found.

"Do you know who these people are?"

He peered at it and immediately realised what it was. "Oh...oh of course... of course this would be here"

"What do you mean by that?"

"That's one of my secrets... let's just say." He looked away uncomfortably, "I don't want to talk about it..."

"Oh... okay... do you or did you know these people, or something, is that why it's like, hard for you and stuff? Did they like, die or?"

"What? No... no this is me... when I was younger... I think this was taken when I was 18... maybe even younger...no I was 17, this was when we first moved here." He stared at it almost sadly.

"You moved here? Like... I mean you have your farm and you sell stuff so I thought you were born here..."

"No I moved here." He gripped the wrench a bit tighter as he said, "Much like you. I also know... what it's like to be in a strange new place..."

"Oh uh... nice to know. So do you have black hair normally? well like when you're not bald...and... wait that's not right you have those ears and ...WAIT ARE YOU THE DUDE WITH LONG HAIR?"

"I I don't know if I'd... call it long per say..." oh this was embarrassing, "it only came down to my chin and sometimes to my shoulders but... yes I had longer hair once."

"Why did you cut it!" She whined, "It looked so nice!"

"That's..." he scratched his neck, flustered, "my business..."

"I really can't believe this... who's the guy next to you?"

"Myy brother. We were twins. His name... was Liam."

Were... was... oh dear... Losing your twin brother must be hard. Lana had always wished she had siblings, and if she'd had them she was sure they'd get on well and be close... and if one of them died...

Maybe she would have a breakdown and shave her head... or maybe not, typical writer reading into things like that, could be he just liked being bald. I mean the sound it made when you hit it... So satisfying.

He put the wrench down. "Do you mind me asking... have you found any other old photographs or... similar things..."

"Well not really but there might be some stuff in my closet. There was some stuff in there from whoever owned it before."

"Oh?"

"Yeah like... like there was a shirt that I don't think is mine..." She went over to it and started rooting around, "and there's something at the back. Here," she held it up so he could see, "it looks like a book."

"Oh that must be the photo album he brought..." He stood up and went over to her "If I may, can I please see it...?"

"Sure you don't really need to ask to look at your stuff though but... alright..."

He sat down on her bed and started flicking through it, she tried to see over his shoulder out of curiosity but there didn't seem to be a lot of pictures of him, or his brother. There was one picture that must've been of them as toddlers sitting on a sofa in a place she didn't recognise, and then pages and pages of other kids, and then a picture of them as young kids standing in front of what looked like a school in grey uniforms. Little Earl seemed to be hiding behind his brother, camera shy. Then it was just pictures of other people again. There was a lady with long hair who speared quite a lot.

"Is that your mom?" she pointed at her.

"Yes that is my mother Bonnibel." he turned the page, "Here she is with my other siblings."

"These are all your siblings? Dude... how many kids did she have?"

"Only two biological children, me and Liam... my other brothers and sisters are fostered children, or ones she had with Marceline, that's my other mother. After us."

"I see... I never knew you came from a big family... I always wanted siblings... what's it like?"

"Having siblings?" he frowned, "I hated it. If I could have been an only child, or had just my brother, I would have done it on the spot. Having to look after everyone and mind them... growing up so fast... and no one ever has any time for you... You're incredibly lucky to have two parents."

"Yeah I know I never said I wasn't..." She huffed.

He'd said something insensitive again. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to imply... I know you love your parents very much but of course you would get lonely. Please forgive me."

"No it's fine really. You're right I guess I am very lucky. Hey is that you?"

There was a picture of a young Earl, longish hair again, sitting at a table clearing away plates with a chubby old lady, they seemed to be talking to each other, and didn't realise they were being photographed. He looked happy.

He had the same long hair in all his old photos, so that wasn't just a teenage rebellion thing. She wondered why he'd cut it.

"What oh. Yes that's me with my great aunt Lolly. She was always very nice to me... but she lived far away so I never really got to see her. I think Liam took this photo... It's odd that mother included it... Maybe he sneaked it in instead of peppermint mugshot number 100..."

"Who's peppermint?"

"My littlest brother. He was around 3 when we left. Mother really adoooored him." he said in an almost sarcastic voice.

There had been a lot of pictures of some chubby kid in a red and white onesie. Earl seemed pretty mad about that so she decided to try and cheer him up.

"Peppermint is a weird name."

"Not for us. It is something of a family tradition to be named after sweets. Mother is named after Bon bons... aunt lolly is named after lollies... it goes on and on..."

There was what looked like a family photo on the next page with all of them together. There were lots of people sitting and smiling but she couldn't see him anywhere, and then she noticed him and his brother standing at the very back. They'd been arranged at the side and Earl had been pushed away from the middle by all the people squeezing in next to him so his face was cut down the middle by the photo border, and only half of him was visible.

"Is there an Earl sweet at all?" she asked, trying to think of one.

"No..." he said bitterly, "no there isn't."

Ah so that was how it was. She felt very sorry for him.

"We are the only ones named like that... like she...didn't even want me." She tried to comfortingly put her hamd on his shoulder and he flinched away, "nevermind I don't even want to talk about it. How dare you."

"Hey I'm not making you talk about it-" she said, surprised and slightly hurt, "seems to me like you're the one who wants to talk about it. I'm not making you do anything."

He snapped it shut. She caught sight of a picture of his mother holding Peppermint and lovingly stroking his head before it closed and he shoved it under his arm.

"I need to go to work now. Goodbye."

"Hey wait I'm sorry and I thought you said it'd take you a few hours to fix it."

He was already at the door. "I'll do it later, when you're not here."

"Oh so I'm just going to be here without any heating!" She gestured at her room.

"Yes." He closed the door and she heard him hurry down the stairs. Touchy... and that was also her mystery over.

He hadn't taken the other photo with him. She picked it up and looked at him and what he'd been like. He was standing awkwardly, hugging himself slightly, looking frightened by something... in a new town full of strange people. He looked like a nice, sensitive guy. His hair looked soft and well kept, and if he hadn't been so hunched over he'd probably be very tall. What ever happened to a make a nice looking guy like you grow up to be such a grouch?

She put it back in the closet where she'd found it, but on the top shelf where it was easier to get just in case he ever wanted it again.

She looked out of her window and saw him speedwalking over to his orchard and shutting the gate hastily. when inside he pulled up his chair and just sat there, then he slowly crumpled over like a drying leaf, and put his head in his hands. She wondered if he was crying. She almost reached for her bird watching binoculars, but decided not to. It would be wrong to spy on him like that.

She decided there wasn't any point staying here either, so she decided to go to the library and see if she could figure out what the phrase on the bed frame meant.

She got a pen and some paper and knelt down to read it. Suddenly she noticed there was something else there.

"Weird..." she could've sworn she'd checked everywhere.

It read: Da liegt der Hund bregaben...

She noted it down and went out. Teresa the librarian gave her some boring books about German but she didn't really want to know that badly, so she just left it.

The next day she got fired from her job for turning up late. She tried to explain that she was new, and that she'd gotten lost, and that it wouldn't happen again but to no avail.

She went back to the library and ranted about it to Teresa. She ranted till the library closed, and then they agreed to go out and get something to drink. It was nice to have someone she could still go out and have fun like that with. Joking around and complaining about random things... it reminded her of hanging out with Mellissa... but that thought just made her want to drink something.

She came home late and fell asleep immediately.

The next morning she came down for breakfast at around 11 and found him still in the house for some reason, sitting with her parents around the table. He was picking at a plate of suspiciously yellow mashed potato. Her parents were just having regular sandwiches. He saw her and quickly looked away, embarrassed and oddly flustered at seeing her in just a nightgown. He also still wasn't sure how to act around her after his outburst yesterday. He was very ashamed of himself for being so open with someone he barely knew.

"I suppose that since you're here we can give you the rent early." Her mother said to him suddenly, "Don't know why I didn't think of it before."

"Thank you that would be most convenient." He muttered, staring down at his food and nothing else.

"Hold on..." said Lana, "rent?"

"Yes didn't we tell you when we introduced you to him; we're renting out his property.

"W-we are?" she said in bewilderment and then felt really stupid. Of course! That made everything make sense - the photos, maybe he was the one who scratched that message...

"Yeah." The look her mother gave her after this was a very stern 'so be poilte.'

Lana had not been... polite to him. Not even in the slightest. She regularly called him names and there was the time she threw his ladder on the floor... or bribed him into a head slap... She didn't mean to be mean to him but either he was rude to her or she was in a bad mood and it just sort of... slipped out.

"W-why hello there... sir..." She said stiffly, deciding to try and make up for it and show that he shouldn't kick them all out.

His eyes narrowed to slits. "I don't trust this niceness..."

Her parents excused themselves and left to go upstairs to their shared study.

"Can I offer you a... refreshment, dear kind sir?"

"No. What are yooouuuu doing here anyway..." He inquired, pointing at her with his fork, "shouldn't you also be at your day job?"

"No I don't work there anymore."

"You were fired..." He asked, and she was really annoyed at him for some reason. She almost wanted to hit him. How dare he... She knew he thought he was so much better than her, at least keep it to yourself you prick.

"No I was made obsolete." She turned away to start fixing her breakfast and he allowed himself to look at her, "Not that it's anything to do with you."

"Whatever you say..." he murmured, watching her.

"And what are you hanging around here for?" She turned back around and he turned pink, and quickly looked away, "Shouldn't you be working?"

"I-I came back to have my luncheon..." he said quietly and picked at his food.

pfft... luncheon... what a nerd...

"-You I see, are only having your breakfast."

"And? I went out last night. Not that you'd understand what it's like to have a social life." Okay that was mean. That was mean. She shouldn't have said that.

"I do... have a... social life. I have... friends." He muttered.

"That's nice." He didn't seem too offended so she focused on her cereal and tried to think about her play, she'd been having trouble with it recently.

"It's true I do have a friend!" he insisted.

"So do you have friends or just one of them, make up your mind." She snapped at him, and then wished she hadn't. What was with her this morning? Why was she mad at him?

"I have... 2 of them... maybe 3..." he said uncertainly.

"I mean, I guess that's perfect for someone like you."

"What do you mean someone like me?" he asked quickly.

"Well you seem like the kind of guy who only needs a few people in his life, which is fine."

He gave her a side-eyed look.

"Are you making fun of me?"

"No I feel too sorry for you to do that, and I don't really care what sort of hermit life you live."

"I DO have friends," he said in a hurt voice. "I can prove it."

"No I believe you and how would you prove it anyway?"

"I have a friend called Martin and we go out drinking together sometimes." He announced proudly.

She snorted. "Oh my gob you go out drinking! I never would've thought I mean... I can't imagine you coming home drunk!"

"I-I don't get drunk." he quickly explained, "I always have a glass of lemonade-"

She laughed again. "You go out to a pub and order a glass of lemonade! Oh my gob! I can totally imagine you doing that..."

For some reason that really upset him. He put his fork down. "I've had enough to eat. I'm going back to work."

"Oh wait I'm sorry like... I'm glad you have your own thing going on and that you're happy as you are."

I'm not happy, he thought to himself, "I'm not upset. Good day Miss Perciville."

She got the feeling she'd over stepped the line a bit. But what line? It wasn't like they were friends... and he was always really rude to her... why did he act like he cared what she thought about him?

Earl went down the hill and through his gates, but instead of going to work he went into the house to his recently installed telephone and carefully dialled Dr Minerva Merten's number.

She picked up and asked who it was.

"It is I; Earl, now can I-"

"Have you broken your leg again?" This was in reference to a time he broke his leg falling out of a tree, called her and was too embarrassed to tell her so he listened to her rant about her patients and husband and son for about 30 minutes, and only told her that he was in physical agony and needed medical attention when she was about to hang up.

"No my legs are both fine... Now... now the rest of me...not fine... " He sighed, "Minerva please tell your husband that I need him to come out drinking with me tonight."

"What's this all of a sudden? Are you alright? I mean it has been a while since you two saw each other..."

"No I am not alright. And it's of great importance. I can not say anymore. Good bye. I will be waiting for him at 8 o clock. Have a nice day. How dare you."

She heard him slamming the phone down.

"He always finishes with how dare you... I'm not a therapist but... blaaame issuees..." Her baby gurgled and reached for her hair, "Quite a handful aren't you... I should ask him to babysit you too someday."

She went out to the barn and told her husband what was going on.

"He does does he?" Martin scratched his beard and want back to moving hay barrels, "Well I suppose even people like him get lonely," he heaved the next hay bale onto the tractor, "I mean he's a very good man, and it was nice of him to mind Finn while I was in prison... but he sure is a fruitcake on a stick."

"Yeah but I think something's on his mind... he said he's not doing so well... I'm a bit worried about him..." she bounced her baby up and down absentmindedly, "You know his house got broken recently?"

"I heard... Overheard that he's trying to get it rebuilt... I gave him a call a while back to tell him I knew some guys who could fix it and asked him if he wanted to stay at ours but he said he's staying with his neighbours."

"Neighbours?" she asked. That last she remembered he lived alone and far away from the town, she kept nagging him to move closer, and that it wasn't good for him to be so far away from other people but he refused. There were no other people near him, and she sometimes worried about him; his brother's death had been very upsetting, and she'd tried to give him a place to go to by letting him mind Finn while she worked but that had been a long time ago, they barely ever saw him now.

"Yeah didn't you know? He rented out his brother's old place to some folks... some couple and their daughter..."

"Really? Living with strangers all of a sudden really doesn't seem like his thing... He probably wants something familiar around again..."

"Maybe. Or perhaps he just wants to have a nice time. I'm not doing anything tonight, I'll go see if he's okay."

Lana had also gone out after getting dressed. She knew she should go look for another job, hit the pavement, as they said, but instead her feet carried her to the library. It seemed to be becoming something of a safe haven.

She came in and saw Teresa sitting at the counter reception thing, and waved at her half heartedly.

"Hey guuurrlll..." Said Teresa, expecting her to reply.

"Hey." She said flatly, and flopped down next to her onto a chair.

Uh oh... what's wrong... gurl?

You wouldn't understand... gurl.

Teresa took off her backpack. This called for seriousness. I'll understand... gurl

So basically yeah... there's this guy right... and I don't know what he's on... like... he's a madman, it's actually kind of really fun... but anyway, and I think I hurt his feelings and it's bugging me.

Teresa listened patiently and readjusted her glasses.

You done, gurl?

Yeah?

You didn't say gurl at the end, gurl

Sorry gurl. Anyway, what do you think, gurl.

I think you should just say sorry, gurl.

Yeah but it was also kinda his fault... like... he kinda brought up something I'm touchy about... she said, ...gurl...

Then don't apologise gurl.

Yeah but it's bugging me... gurl.

Then I guess you're right I really don't understand. Also have you read the castle of Otranto? That book is mad, gurl...

She sighed. No... No I have not read.. the castle of Otranto. Gurl.

Weak. Gurl.

I know gurl.

She sat and listened to Teresa give an improvised lecture on the castle of otranto, but her heart wasn't in it. Her thoughts kept drifting back to him and what she'd said. Why... why had she said that to him? And when she thought about his photo album, and him sitting alone in his chair crying to empty trees she just felt worse. Why hadn't she just let him be... He'd fixed her radiator, and he had been nice to her, in his own way. They did get on well, she supposed. She wouldn't exactly call him a friend but the fact that she'd hurt his feelings was bothering too much for him to mean nothing to her.

She decided she'd try and apologise to him.

Teresa's shift ended and they both went back home. She couldn't find him in the house and he didn't answer when she finally mustered up the courage to go down to his house. When she came back and went to put her shoes away, she noticed his boots were missing from their usual place by the door, and his coat was gone too. So he was out somewhere. Maybe he was avoiding her. That made her quite sad for some reason.

Her parents saw her standing in the middle of the corridor staring at the coat rack and asked if she was okay. She lied. Her parents mentioned that Earl had told them to tell her not to put his dinner out. He was going to be back late as he'd gone out.

Ah man what a handful!

That just made her feel worse. He really did want to prove a point. Aw man he was probably sitting somewhere in the corner really uncomfortable. She really had to say sorry to him now...

She went and got his dinner ready anyway, and put it on the coffee table beside the sofa he slept on. He had a photograph propped up on the corner of the table, facing where he had his pillow, level with his head when he was lying down so he could look at it before he went to sleep.

It was the same as the one she had lying in her closet. Of him and his brother when they were younger, before he passed away. She turned it to look at him. It was still surprising to see him like that. Looking so vulnerable and, well, innocent. He really had been quite pretty for a boy once. But he also hadn't really changed very much. She'd kind of gotten used to his baldness so it wasn't so odd looking to her anymore, and he had actually let it grow out like she said he should so he had this nice even blonde buzzcut. And his face hadn't changed very much either. He was a little older but when he wasn't frowning or scowling he looked almost handsome.

She restrainedly slapped herself on the wrist and said warningly "NEVER again."

Then she ripped a page out of her notebook and tried to compose an apology letter. 'I'm sorry', she wrote. And then she hesitantly put 'friends?'.

Oh no. No no no. Too embarrassing. Oh my gob. She scribbled it out, scrunched it up, and threw it in the general direction of his wastepaper basket. Now way was she letting him see that.

She decided she'd better apologise to his face. She went back outside and sat down on the stairs, waiting for him.

The man she was waiting for was currently sat in the town pub. his hands neatly folded in front of him, and a glass of lemonade next to him on a matching yellow coaster. He had put a little curly straw in it, and there was a lemonslice stuck on the rim. He had class when it came to lemonade. There was no sugar in it, only water and lemon juice.

He scratched under one of his ears so it wobbled comically and then sat up when Martin Mertens walked through the door.

He braced himself for Martin's weird greeting rituals where he patted his shoulder with great slaps and loudly asked questions without giving him any time to answer. And after that was done Martin sat down with a thud, took a swig of his beer and asked him how he was.

"I am... fineee..."

"You doing um... what's that thing you say... acceptable?"

He shook his head sadly. "No not quite... many things are, in fact, I regret to inform you, most UNacceptable."

"Ah..." Martin nodded encouragingly, "so what's been on your mind then?"

Earl didn't say anything. It wasn't until he had a delicate sip of his lemonade that he started talking.

"Lana doesn't like meeee..." he complained

Oh... This was a plot twist. He was so intrigued he set down his beer.

"Who's Lana?" he asked expectantly.

"My neighbour."Martin was shocked and intrigued. "I've been staying at her house recently... We are... The same age and-"

"Oh I see what's going on! You sly thing so that's how it is..." Martin looked at him knowingly.

"NNNgHG It It It is not like that! It's just... I just want us to be friends..." he spluttered, and shakily took another sip of his drink.

"Aww... That's so pure... I'm sure she does like you, you're a nice guy really."

"R-really?" he asked hopefully.

"Well umm..." Maybe that was a bit of a stretch, "Sure... You're a good farmer, and you can fix things real wicked."

He looked crushed and mournfully fiddled with his straw. "I don't think she is very impressed by such things..."

"So you want to impress her," Martin said smugly, Earl predictably hissed, it was a lot of fun to watch him squirm "I see how it is..."

"It's not.. I'm not it's not like that well I dooo want her to like me but... Only as a friend. It's not like I can hope for anything more..." he added sadly and instantly regretted it.

"Sure you can! I mean look at me, I was a good for nothing crook and Minnie was a great doctor but look at us now!"

He stared into his drink and didn't say anything. It was odd now that she'd pointed it out. He'd been ordering the same thing ever since he was a child. Yes it was strange, and he knew that there was something wrong with that, but most of the time it didn't bother him.

"But that was you... and this is me..."

"And?"

"W-well... we are very different."

"Yeah we are. Like I was a criminal while what have you done? Eat a few raw lemons? There's nothing the matter with you, sure you're unusual but everyone is."

It was clear that Martin was trying very hard to be understanding, and he really did want to help him, and it was nice to know he had at least one friend like that. But he didn't understand.

Why do you look so strange? Why do you talk so weird? Do you ever shut up about the bloody middle ages? I'm so sick of it... Why can't you be more like your brothers? Why don't you want to play tag with the other kids? Why do you always flinch when I try to touch you? Why why why, and then one day the questions stopped, and were replaced with insults. Threats. Martin wouldn't understand what it's like to be born already a failure, already a disappointment.

"And anyway how do you know she doesn't like you? Has she said it?"

"No but... she has... implied it..."

"I think you're reading into things. Like, you don't seem like someone who'd fancy someone you didn't have a chance with. I'm sure she likes you."

He turned bright red. "I do not... fancy anyone."

"Yeah you do."

He turned even redder. "Nnnnnngh no... no I do not."

"Please stop this denial. Yes you do."

"No."

Martin could keep playing this very entertaining game all night long, but he had a wife and three sons (he included Jake in his counting) to get back to.

"Come on now... you clearly have a thing for whoever this Laura-"

"Her name is Lana."

"-Lana is, even if you deny it. Why are you so against admitting it? Is there something bad about her you're embarrassed about?"

"No... no there is nothing wrong with her. Well she is quite rude and brusque but no one is a saint." His mouth twitched into a brief smile as he thought about her.

"Then what's the problem?"

His face fell. "Me."

"Now now you know that's not true." Martin said sternly.

"I have had enough of thiiiiiss... conversation... talk about something else. Please."

"Well.. alright.. I won't push you any further. Would you like to here about how Finn is doing?"

"Yes I would like that very much.. poor little boy... that ice business must have scared him so much... is he sleeping well?"

Martin filled him in about Finn, and Minerva, and how his farming was going but his friend seemed out of it. Poor guy... Martin hoped everything would end well for him.

Martin slowly made his way through another pint and when he reached for his third Earl clamped a restraining hand on his wrist and insisted that they should go home now.

Martin staggered off home into the sunset, and Earl put his hands in his coat pockets as he slowly made his way home, dragging his feet.

It had been nice to be around other people again, and live with people. Even if it was weird being in his brother's house, seeing it... change and become someone else's... it was strange and even upsetting to watch him be erased from the world like that, but even so, being in the company of others had been nice. Just little things. Sleeping under the same roof and eating together, good morning and good night... his regular life seemed so empty now. Empty of his brother, but also of his other family. He still missed them, he supposed.

Maybe that's why he had been so upset to be reminded of them, and the fact that they would never, ever miss him.

He was used to not fitting in. Even with his brother they had fights and arguments. He had a thick skin if nothing else. But even so, sometimes it really stung when she said things to him. Or maybe that was just because it was coming from her. Perhaps, maybe... maybe he really did...

No absolutely not. It wasn't like that. He just wanted a friend. And it would be nice to have someone think of him as normal. She clearly didn't.

But he couldn't give in yet! He did like Lana, and he did want her to think highly of him.

"But not because I fancy her... or anything." He said to himself. And it was true there really was no point in catching any sort of feelings for her because there was no chance of her ever reciprocating. But they could maybe be friends, he had to at least try. After all, he might never get another chance like this.

He put his key in the door and opened it. To his surprise Lana was still up, and she stood up as he came in.

"Hey."

He really hadn't been expecting this, so he didn't say anything.

"Are you... okay there?"

A thought suddenly occurred to him. Before he could decide whether this was a good thought or not he announced. "I am under the influence."

"Wh..." Lana took a step back and looked at him, "no you ain't."

"I am..." he insisted and pretended to sway back and forth slightly. "I'm intoxicated a normal amount."

Lana sighed and tried not to laugh. "You're so petty... oh yeah.. yeah I uhh can I have your attention for a moment."

Oh dear. That couldn't be good.

Lana avoided looking at him and picked at her sleeve as she said.

"I'm sorry about before... I do really believe you don't need a lot of friends to be happy and I didn't mean to upset you. Like I don't have a lot of friends here either since I had to leave everyone I know back home so...I'm talking about myself too, you know."

Oh wow... that was unexpected.

"And you can stop pretending to be drunk."

"Oh well this was humiliating. He coughed awkwardly and stood up straight again."

"I'm a professional playwriter and let me tell you... you cannot act to save your life. I do appreciate how much effort you put in though."

"That is nice of you to say."

"I really am sorry." he hadn't accepted her apology yet, "Like I.. maybe I didn't put it well enough- I didn't want to move and leave everything and now I don't have anyone so I have to... pretend that I'm fine but I'm not happy and I- I just wanna go home... she said.

"I see..." a young lady moves to a new town, and all the people there are strange, and she's under a lot of pressure...

"But I shouldn't have taken it out on you and I feel really bad. Like... I said I wouldn't care if you fell off the roof and... other stuff. You're a very nice guy. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings."

"Of-Of course Iiii forgive yooouuu." Things were getting awkward and generally weird and he wanted to get out of there before he did anything even more embarrassing and ruined his chances further, but his chances at what? The thought scared him. He didn't want to want anything from her, he didn't want to get hurt. "Now goodnight it is already quite late for me."

He made a beeline for the living room.

"Oh yeah... farmer life, goodnight Earl."

He felt a wonderful shiver go through him when she said his name. That was the first time.. that was the first time she'd ever said it.

"Goodnight Miss. Perciville." he hastily shut the door and nearly started screaming from whatever was going on.

"I hope his dinner is still warm..." she thought to herself before going upstairs, feeling as if a great weight had just been lifted off her chest.

In her room, an invisible hand started scratching at the bedframe.


End file.
